Posted by
Jimmy Carter on Sunday, May 13, 2007 12:44:30 PM
On May 12, 2007, my closest friend in the world was joined in matrimony.
Here is the text of the speech I gave as THE "Best Man."
(the microphone was passed to me from the Maid of Honor)
"I'm not afraid to shine.
(laughter)
First, I'd like the thank the Almighty for every moment of Our lives.
Second, I'd like to acknowledge the Mighty American Armed Forces for securing this day for Us.
(standing ovation)
Next, I'd like to thank Mr. Smith (Bride's father) for this magnificent wedding. The pressure you must have been under....getting all the details right....from who to invite, which invitations to use, when it would be held and where, what to serve, the decorations....you pulled it off splendidly.....
Just between you and me, I know you sub-contracted it out to Janna's (bride) Bridal Party Inc., but I'm going to give you all the credit....if they feel left out, oh well, I don't have to deal with them....
Jerry (Groom) and I met in a somewhat unusual way. We shared a class in high school. I was this quiet introverted guy who minded his own business. And then there's Jerry....(laughter)...loud, gregarious, funny guy getting all the attention....I think it was to compensate for those grades, but I digress..(laughter)..
I overheard him talking about me to a couple people....not in a bad way, but simply pointing out my reluctance to be social...He said,"I bet he spent the weekend doing his homework..." So, to prove his point he came over to me and asked,"What did you do this weekend?"
I gave him a list of adult establishments I visited with my older brother and his friends and right then and there Jer met a guy he wanted to hang out with...(laughter).
Little did we know that that was the first day of class for a friendship that would last the next 18, 19 plus years....
Over those years we've given each other tests that I think we have passed with flying colors...
Let me tell ya what I've learned these past six months....Best Man doesn't mean closest friend, staunchest ally, or any of that.....
Best Man is to a Groom what Alma Mater is to a graduate:
When a graduate points to his alma mater, he's saying,"There's a place I've spent a lot of time, a lot of money, learning next to nothing, but I've moved on to a higher class."
When a Groom points to his Best Man, he's saying,"THERE'S a place I've spent a lot of time, a lot of money, learning next to nothing, but I've moved on to a higher class."
(laughter)
Well, Jer, after getting to know Janna (Bride) through your words and having met her, Mr. Smith and their entire family, I can honestly say, "You have moved on to a higher class."
So, if y'all would join me in a toast....this day....Jer's day of acceptance into the institution of the highest of learning.....
Ladies and gentlemen, to Mr. and Mrs. JEREMY T**** J*****!!"
(applause...hoopin' and hollerin')