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         Merry Christmas!!

                        Cordially,

                                           Jimmy Carter.

A compendium of retorts:


To those who cry "Global Warming": At what temperature should the Earth's thermostat be set and where is your owner's manual?

To those who advocate abortion: Explain to me how babies are made and begin with Step 1.

To those politicians who advocate abortion claiming, "It is the woman's body and can do with it as she pleases.": My body is my own too, so pass the trans-fats with a side of cigarettes with a syringe of heroin for dessert.

To those who advocate public funding for abortions: Pregnancy is not a disease.

To those women who advocate abortion claiming, "It is my body and can do with it as I please.": Why are you not marching in the streets in favor of prostitution?

To those who use the phrase "verbal abuse": It is freedom of speech, not from it. There is no right to be heard, so don't listen.

To those who do not understand the need for a nationally recognised language: Our rights are American rights and until you can read and explain them in their Native tongue, you have none.

To the evolutionists: If we have Human Beings and we have monkeys, then why are you trying to find a missing link? Shouldn't there be a number of them among us? If we have elephants, birds and fish, then where are the elephant/bird/fish species among us?

To those who ask,"Who are you to judge someone?": Do you renounce your right to vote, how do you differentiate between the canidates? Should we abolish prisons? Do we do away with "judges and juries?" Do you have an opinion on adolf hitler?

To those who claim "second-hand smoke" kills: Show me one death certificate that stated: "Cause of death; second-hand smoke." If the aroma is annoying, I have met some people with "natural" body odors that are far more assaulting and I would rather passively smoke a Camel than be in a room with them.

To those who claim our motorized transportation is causing "global warming": I will gladly take your keys and pink slip.

To those who call themselves oklahomans: HAHAHAHA!!

To the open borders advocates: Do you have doors in your house? Do those doors have locks? Do you lock your car doors when it is out of eyesight? So, too, should we close the door and lock it on Our Nation's borders and treat each illegal trespasser as we would any intruder.

To those who claim they have an "addiction": You are welcome to attend to Jimmy's House of Detox. We will strip you naked, cuff your hands behind your back, tie you to the toilet, and feed you what we deem healthy until you believe you no longer have that affliction.

To those who say we can't win a war: Really? Have we exhausted all Our resourses against the enemy? Let's try that first.

To those who advocate spending billions of dollars in order to combat a.i.d.s.: It cost $0.00 to not have sex.

To those who claim that any sign of Christianity is offensive to them: Your hypersensitivities to All that is Good and Virtuous is offensive to me as a Human Being. By the way, this issue of "seperation of Church and state" always results in the removal of the Church and not the state. Next time someone states that the Ten Commandments have no place in city hall, I say let stand the Commandments and remove  *&$# city hall.


To those who claim that there are "poor" people suffering Here in America: Then we agree that welfare does not work and should be scrapped.

To those who try to solicit money from me for their walking on a Saturday afternoon in order to raise awareness for [insert pet cause here]: I am not wealthy enough to pay people to walk, get a part-time job and donate your earnings to [insert pet cause here] and that would make you productive and charitable, and thank you for making me aware of [insert pet cause here].

To those who advocate banning firearms: Explain to me how outlawing marijuana, cocaine,  and heroin did away with these.


To those enlightened atheists who claim there is no God: Then explain your Self.

   Do you think there is not enough time in the day?

   Well, I'm going to show you how you are going to have all the time you can possibly imagine. We will soon discover eternity.

   It's not as hard as you may think. Let's go for a ride. Enjoy the trip.

   About 300 years B.C., Euclid was busy discovering the laws of geometry. During this time, he also recorded numerous observations called postulates. A postulate is a truth believed to be true based on other truths. For the purpose of this exercise we will use only two; transitivity and inverse ratio.

   Transitivity is a relation in which one element in relation to a second element and the second in relation to a third element implies the first element is in relation to the third element.

   If x=y, and y=z, then z=x.

   In other words: If we know x=y, and we know y=z, then we can conclude z=x. For example: If we know that (x) a chair = (y) something on which to sit, and we know (y) something on which to sit = (z) a reclyner, then we can conclude that (z) a reclyner = (x) a chair.

   Ratio is the relation between two similar magnitudes with respect to the number of times the first contains the second. Ratios are stated as a:b. In other words, however we affect the first we must affect the second in the same proportion. For example: If (a) is an apple and (b) is two oranges, then for every (a) apple we add we must add two (b) oranges in order to maintain our original ratio. If we have ten (a) apples, then we must multiply our two oranges by a factor of ten as well which would be (b) twenty oranges. With inverse ratio, we can conclude (for simplicity) that for every (b) two oranges we remove, we must also remove (a) one apple in order to maintian our original ratio.

   The final definition we should be aware of is the First Law of Thermodynamics. The First Law of Thermodynamics suggests that energy can be transferred from one system to another in many forms. However, it can not be created nor destroyed (make special note of this). Thus, the total amount of energy available in the Universe is constant. Einstein's famous equation describes the relationship between energy and matter: E=MC(2 (squared)). E (amount of energy) = M (mass of object) * C (a constant (speed of light)) squared.

   What does this have to do with eternity? Eternity is forever and ever, without begining and without end. With eternity time does not exist.

   What is time? Most people think time is a measurement. For example, someone may measure the time it takes to travel from point A to point B, a distance of x seconds, minutes, hours, days, etc. This is what I call Earth time. A day is the amount of "time" it takes for the Earth to make one complete revolution on Its axis. An hour is a day divided by twenty-four. A year is the amount of "time" it takes for the Earth to make one complete trip around the sun. A month is a year divided by twelve (roughly). But what time is it on Jupiter? What time is it on the sun? This definition is restricted to Earth.

   I think time is a location, a location relative to an event experienced. For this exercise we must understand that sound travels at approximately 760 miles per hour and light travels at approximately 196,000 miles a second. Imagine as your watch reached 12:00 you witnessed a flash of lightening three miles from you and three seconds later you heard the accompaning thunder. Imagine I am two miles further away from the event. So, when my watch reached 12:00, simultaneously with yours, I witnessed the same flash of lightening, but the thunder was five seconds later. Who's right? We both are. The difference in the "time" we both recorded the event shows our location relative to it, the flash of lightening and its thunder. This definition also encompasses Earth time: CST, PST, EST, etc...(where you are on Earth in relation to the sun).

   If time is a location, then our question becomes, "Is there a place where time does not exist?"

  
   At the beginning of his career, Dr. Einstein was riding the bus to the office when he looked out the back window to see the city's clocktower. Realizing that he could see the clocktower because light is reflecting off of it and reaching him, he asked himself, "how would it appear if I were to travel at light speed away from the clocktower?" He concluded that time (as indicated by the clocktower) would stop for him because the reflection of its motion would never reach him (remember the speed of light is constant), but time for those who could see it would continue. This was Dr. Einstein's epiphany and the beginning of the Law of Relativity.

   With the discovery of the Law of Relativity, Dr. Einstein had figured out the faster one travels the slower time moves. Assuming we are accelerating at a faster rate of speed: a second would equal a minute would equal an hour would equal a day would equal a year would equal a millinium.....until eventually time would no longer exist.

   When I first found this out I thought, "why don't we crank up the 'ol Space Shuttle, put it in gear, and go?"

   E=MC2(squared): To reach that speed we would need alot of fuel and the more fuel we add to our cargo the bigger the Shuttle would have to be and the bigger the Shuttle the more weight we are moving. The more weight means more fuel, more fuel means bigger Shuttle, bigger Shuttle more weight, more weight means more fuel.......Dr. Einstein's formula shows not only would we need every drop of oil and gas on Earth to burn, but we would have to convert our entire Galaxy into energy including Earth to reach light speed. Obviously, that is not an option.

   Inverse ratio: if the faster we travel, the more mass we would need to convert to energy, the slower time moves, then the inverse ratio would mean the slower we travel, less mass we would need to convert to energy, the faster time moves. Assuming we are traveling at a decling rate, time would increase to where a millinium would equal a decade would equal a year would equal a week would equal a minute would equal a second....until eventually time would no longer exist.

   Is there a way we could stop moving? We could sit in the Space Shuttle and be still as possible, but the Earth is still spinning and still traveling around the sun and whirling throughout the galaxy.....

   But we have the ultimate brake: death.

   Is there a difference between someone who is dead and someone who is alive? Of course, there is something (whether you call it energy or spirit) that makes our bodies alive.

   First Law of Thermodynamics: energy/mass cannot be created or destroyed. After you die that which makes your body alive still exists.

   What time is it when your dead? There is no time when you're dead. If we found a place where time doesn't exist, then we have found eternity.

   Transitivity: If x=y, and y=z, then z=x.

   If (x)light = (y)eternity, and (y)eternity = (z)death, then (z)death = (x)light.

   In conclusion, that which resides in us is Light. We know that Light shines by the very fact that we are alive and that Light will continue to shine forever and ever. But it doesn't stop there. If our Light is eternal (knows no beginning and knows no end), then not only does our Light exist now, but it has existed before we were ever conceived by our parents.

   Our Light has existed since the Dawn of Creation and will forever shine until God Himself decides to turn out the Lights!